I missed the Gay Pride Parade in the city because I was stuck in Lucknow. But then when the High Court upheld gay rights, I went along with our photo editor to Jantar Mantar looking for a story to tell, a personal tale. It was fun seeing the supporters and the LGBT community members congratulate each other, tears streaming down their cheeks. It was emotional. It was a moment of defiance.
An edited version appeared in the Indian Express on July 3, 2009.
Chinki Sinha
New Delhi, July 2, 2009
There was never much of a plan. There couldn’t be. They lived in the shadow of Section 377, always careful, watchful, and only danced with abandon at a couple of “gay-friendly” nightclubs that would let two men enter as a couple on some nights. On other days, and in public places, they'd be reserved, and mum about their relationship.
But after the Delhi High Court legalized homosexuality, Rahul Singh, a gay rights activist, is planning and plotting a surprise visit to his parents in Lucknow. And he is taking his partner of three years along.
Not that the landmark judgment would change mindsets overnight. Miracles don’t happen that easily but at least some sanction came with the ruling. Anything more than that at the moment would be asking for too much, he said.
“This means a lot to me,” he said. “This is the first step. The sanction has come from the law. Now we can be together. But it is a long battle, and we have just won the first in the series.”
At Jantar Mantar, the designated protest spot in the capital, four days ago, supporters and members of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender community had rallied at the Gay Pride march, denouncing the draconian Section 377.
On Thursday, they came to the protest street again. But this time, they came to celebrate their rainbow identity. “Make a Wish” etched on Gunjan Sharma’s hand bag symbolized the optimism, and the gratitude. For months, the case had been pending in the court. But the activists never let their hopes down. On July 2, when the Delhi High Court decriminalized homosexuality, that long-standing wish had been granted.
Sharma is a queer rights activist at TARSHI (Talking about Reproductive and Sexual Health Issues).
“Of course we are happy,” she said, embracing a fellow activist.
On the wall in the background, a slogan “Love is not about gender” shouted out loud.
Standing on the sidelines, Arpit Goel stood, smoking, and smiling profusely.
“This is a big day for us,” he said.
Nienke Boer, a South African volunteer, was taking in all the excitement. She had witnessed history and she was brimming with excitement.
"It is historical. South Africa has legalized gay marriage but then we are a conservative society, too. This is just a begining," she said.
Singh came too, television crews zeroing upon him. While the court’s order will not change the daily life of the many queer Indians, it will certainly give them the dignity they had long been asking for. Of course, the battle is long. Civil unions and gay marriages are on the radar, too, he said.
But the first challenge is the government reaction, he said.
When he had introduced his boyfriend to his parents, Singh told them he is a “good friend.”
For the 32-year-old the “illegal” tag attached to his relationship with his partner stripped it of its dignity, and he never felt comfortable talking about his relationship with his family. But Thursday was a proud moment for him. It was like coming out of the closet the second time and the feeling was liberating.
“My dignity as a gay man has been reaffirmed,” Singh said. “I will be in a position to talk to my family. We have a stable relationship and I want them to know that.”
Years ago, when he came out to his parents, it had been under pressure. They didn’t know about his sexual orientation and like so many other parents wanted him to get married. So Singh had to tell them he liked men instead. Parents reacted, and there were tears, and emotional dialogues. But then the doors had swung open.
It hadn’t been easy for Singh, who earlier worked with the Naz Foundation and in January started the Pahal Foundation. He is also a counselor at the Pahal Beauty Parlour in Faridabad, which is also India’s first gay beauty clinic.
He felt isolated when other boys discussed women at school. He jut wasn’t interested. At the time, the thought that he could be gay crossed his mind but he dismissed it. Maybe with time, he would eventually marry a woman and have children and live a normal life like most men did, he said.
“I kept all of it to myself. I thought with time, it will go away,” Singh said.
But flipping through a magazine once, he stumbled upon an article on homosexuality and that was when he realized he could be gay. He visited psychiatrists, hoping they would not confirm it.
“It was a struggle. I realized it was orientation and if I didn’t accept it, I’d be betraying myself,” he said. “But for a long time, I wasn’t able to talk about it.”
Singh met Yash, who works in the private sector, at one of the discotheques in the city. They danced, talked and exchanged numbers. Singh wasn’t expecting too much out of it. But then, Yash, 30, called. And then over coffee and dates, the couple committed. They live together now.
Singh will take Yash to meet his parents at the end of this month. He has booked the tickets, he said.
Yash is nervous about meeting Singh's parents. Legal sanction doesn't always translate into social or cultural sanction. But yes, he will take the plunge.
"I am a little jittery but I am looking forward to the meeting," he said. "Today, we overcame one hurdle. That's a good thing."
But in all this celebration, Upendar Mahto, a papad seller, looked misplaced. He came to the protest street after he saw the crowd, hoping to do good business.
“I think this is a rally. But these are high-class people. They won’t buy my stuff,” he said. “I don’t know what has happened. I just see too many colors.”
Across the street, some policemen stood watching the activists and the LGBT members break into a dance.
They were amused.
“At least one good thing comes out of it. The population will not go up,” one home guard joked.
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