Monday, December 29, 2008

We grow too old too soon

I think I have begun to get the wrinkles
And my hair has started to fall too
And I live in denial of the years that are adding on
No, I don’t want to carry the extra adage
I am already suffering
Suffering with the crushed ego, the remains of a useless life
No, I don't have savings yet
Not do I have a house, nor a man or a woman
Not even a cat
And I need the years, need the revisions
Need the reversals and oh, I so need more time
Minus the years somehow
It makes me question, makes me feel old, too old
So old that I feel there’s only me and you
And no other
And you grow old too with me
You have the lines too
Around your mouth and the horizontal shafts dig into your forehead
When you laugh or frown
They cut through the lies, the layers and the years
They expose the brutal years, the useless years, the years we squandered away
Too drunk to care, too lazy to bother
And then suddenly I see the wrinkles forming
And I have aged
And you have aged too
And we fall victim to the wrinkles
I scan my face, I scan the old photos
Putting them under the brutal, cruel light
Yes, those are the years that show
Like ripples
But you can count them
There’s one, two, three
Oh, there’s more and I stop
No, I can’t
I have not even travelled yet
And my bones are already crackling
This can’t be
I want to climb the mountains, do the touristy things
And then get cute pictures taken
But I can’t have wrinkles showing in those
What would they think?
No, it would be so embarrassing
All the men, all the women
In the bars and the dimly-lit restaurants
Where they play the old rock songs and the new ones too
Oh, will they look at me again with interest
Will their stare linger and if it does
Will my wrinkles show?
What can i do? What can i do?
Can i reverse it
Get the botox
But do I have the money for the injections
And won’t the injections hurt
I shrink and shudder
When men look at me in the daylight
The wrinkles form like deep crevices then
Oh, don’t you joke with me
You see i can’t laugh
Or else, you will see the real me